It's summer time. Time to cue up the iPod's with all your favorite songs, stock up on lemonade supplies, crank up the AC and gather up the beach gear. But also, let's admit that summer is the WORST. When the kids aren't in school full-time and it's hot outside our families take on a whole other level of crazy. Let's list the ways that summer is the absolute most annoying time of year:
1. No school? No Bueno. The kids are bored as soon as the novelty of the "schools out for summer" mentality wears off. By my calculations that's about 15 minutes post end-of-school-year-celebrations. Boredom leads to messes. Messes lead to annoyance. Annoyance leads to frustrations. And that, as we all know too well, leads to meltdowns...on EVERYONES part. Surprisingly, there's a lack of day camps from the last day of school for about 2 weeks post-insanity. That's two whole weeks of figuring out what in the actual F#*% you are going to do with your kids. And yes, I realize we all would love more time with our kids to vacation and whatever, blah, blah, blah....reality is...they don't want to spend all day everyday recreating Norman Rockwell moments with their parents. They want to hang out with friends and be preoccupied with teachers and counselors and activities. Real talk: no school sucks!
2. The public pool is my own personal hell. Really. Let's add the beach to that list...and water parks. All of that blows. The pool is overcrowded with parents and kids seeking some sort of relief from the stifling heat. Parents: please watch your kids at the pool. Get off your phone, put down your book, and open your eyes! My little guy LOVES to swim and for a three-and-a-half year old he is a damn good swimmer (thanks for amazing swim lessons and A LOT o commitment on my part by taking him to the pool for daily practice and confidence building ::pat on the back::) but I would never take my eyes off of him or be more than 4 feet away. OK, so your kids are bigger and older and so they can go do their own thing. Sounds great, can't wait for that day, BUT my kid can't so help me out and make sure your raging preteen doesn't jump, splash, bump, hit or generally rough house around the little guys. Find somewhere else besides the kiddie pool for that! There have definitely been times that myself or daddy have fallen victim to this type of crap happening around us or our son and it ruins the whole experience for everyone. Same goes for water parks except add asshole adults acting like previously mentioned goober kids and you have everyone's worst nightmare. And the beach? Please y'all, I love the beach. Love. Or should I say 'loved' the beach before I had a child...now it's more of a chore than a relaxing zen-like retreat. Beach toys, umbrellas, chair, towels, sun protectant armor and lugging all of that crap down into the burning sand only to end up sitting next to a group of co-eds chugging brewskis and wearing less than dental floss. Here in Florida, some beaches allow driving and parking on the beach. Seems like it would be convenient. I find it scary and dangerous. Every year some story on the news about someone being run over on the beach...uh, no thanks. And the sand....everywhere and anywhere it can be hidden...for weeks. We went away a few weeks ago to a beach resort...I'm still finding sand in things and places that I'd rather not. Ugh.
3. Camp! Camp is good for the reason that it gets the kids out of the damn house and into some structured activities that easy the pain of boredom. But camp is also a huge pain in the ass. We have to send B to camp "swim ready" and pack clothes and a lunch for the rest of the day. Only childless people would believe getting a 3 year old "pool ready" first thing in the morning is easy. Putting sunscreen and swimwear on a little kid is like wrangling a greased pig and dressing it for one of Jacque Cousteau's deep water expeditions. Don't forget you must label everything. If you don't, than just pull out some cash and burn it. Same thing. Everything will end up lost in the ether of day camp craziness. We like NameBubbles. And don't get me started on trying to survive the parking lot and the daily drop off/pickup systems of camp... AHHHH!!!
4. Ice cream. We love us some ice cream and popsicles but good gravy...what a mess!!! How is it possible to hand a child an ice cream or some other frozen treat and within 30 seconds realize it's in their hair, all over them and their clothes and shoes...then the realization that it's also all over you and in your hair and in your purse and...OMG...it's just everywhere. The only solution is hose everyone off after a trip to ice cream stand. I'm still cleaning a popsicle stain out of the car seat and surrounding areas from a disastrous and poorly thought out decison on my part.
5. The heat and all of the things that come with rising temperatures. Luckily we live in Florida so we are prepared for year round heat and humidity, but 105 degrees in the shade? It seems like summer started WAY early this year and the heat has been worse than ever before. Maybe I'm imagining that but, ugh. The car feels like an oven, your boob sweat is literally out of control, there's no point in even doing anything with your hair cause you know you are going to end up looking like Hagrid within 5 minutes of exiting the safety of your air-conditioned domicile, wearing less clothes means shaving your legs way more often than the lazy days of winter, and even the dog won't entertain the ridiculous idea of subjecting themselves to heat stroke. WTF?! I've never been so happy for daily rain showers in my life, but even those leave little relief from the oppressiveness of the climate outside.
All of that being said, summer can bring some good times and great memories and even though right now, at this very minute I hate all things summer, I still do them for the sake of love and laughter with kiddo...and for the simple fact that there's no escaping it. Also, thank goodness this year school starts incredibly early here in the sunshine state.
Good luck surviving the rest of the summer!
W & B