1. Girl, if you are out to brunch and working hard at finding the bottom of the "bottomless mimosas" don't teeter around town in 5 inch platform wedges. They look cute one drink in, but by the third you're falling flat on your ass on the way to the bathroom.
2. Let's talk about rompers. First of all, if the romper rides up in the back then let's assume its riding up in the front. That's not cute, girl. NOT CUTE. Also, if your ass checks are falling out of said romper you would consider upsizing. Real Talk: it's complete rare that a real human can pull off this look, so maybe just don't. OK?
3. I am all for leggings, don't get me wrong. But, in the unfortunate event that the pattern of a kitten, unicorn, rainbow, or any other majestic being looks like is leaping from your ass (or even worse...vag) just don't wear them in public. Remember that the internet it a cruel place and you don't want to end up next weeks most popular meme.
4. If high-wasted jeans are making you look like you have a mile-long-flat-ass and a "front-butt", please consider that some trends are for 17-year-olds with a lightening fast metabolism...and thats not you.
5. If you are wearing leggings and I can see your maxi-pad outline you may need to find a longer shirt. (You have no idea how common this is...for reals.)
6. If your bra makes you look like you have four boobs or one big mono-boob you may want to rethink the size of said over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
7. Fellas can have a fashion fail, too. If your shirt reads as a dick/fart joke, you've failed BIG time.
8. If you wanna smoke weed, thats cool. If I see you at the school function wearing your pot leaf necklace circa 1994 you're gonna retire that shit ASAP.
9. Over the age of 14 ironic t-shirts are no longer cute or ironic.
10. Crocs are not shoes for every occasion. If you think they are you need a smack in the face with one.
11. When heading to the beach or the pool, please remember that the rules of swimwear are not just a loose interpretation. Seriously, some of y'all need to get a grip on that shit. I'm not your doctor or your partner so I don't need to see that much of you in public.
12. If you aren't sure about whether or not you are a walking fashion fail just go to places like WalMart or Disney and look around. If your outfit looks like most of their outfits, you fail. If not, you should be all good. (We all know WalMart and Disney are the two places fashion goes to die, just admit it.)