1. Let's just get the sleep portion of this bucket list out of the way: I would kill for a 48 hour opportunity to soak up uninterrupted REM cycles, preferably in a hotel where I can order room service, wear a fluffy robe and make a mess that I don't have to clean up.
2. Go on a date and NOT have to wear Spanx. Seriously, it's just impossible to actively listen to anyone speak when you're realizing your control top panties are slowly rolling down, creating a that-much-more unflattering silhouette and also trying to find the most opportune time to yank those suckers back up to where they belong without looking like a completely unladylike slob of a human being.
3. Show up at a school event and NOT feel like the black sheep.
4. Go on a vacation without my son and NOT feel guilty about it.
5. Create a massively successful business that allows me to spend the majority of my time working braless/pantless. We are all more productive when we don't have to worry about those formalities, right?
6. Hit the gym more often and with less insecurities. I see these people in the gym looking all carefree and unencumbered by years of "fat kid" trauma. When I go to the gym I am constantly aware of how red my face is, how jiggly some of my parts are and how I'm constantly trying not to cuss like a sailor. I'd like to just go in there and go full-beast mode and give zero fucks.
7. Trust more freely and with ease. This is a big one, and maybe it's an unattainable goal, but I would love to be able to just be the kind of person who makes friends or meets people and isn't constantly questioning motive. Thanks, anxiety.
8. Find the perfect haircut. I know, I know...It's a lifelong journey for some of us.
9. Roll around in a clean car for more than 3 hours.
10. Have a professional organize my house...and maintain said organization. I feel like sometimes we live in the center of a tornado made up of toys, laundry and never-ending "to-do" lists.
11. Meet a man who appreciates the fact that I may not have a perfect body or look flawless 24/7 but I can hold a conversation about world issues, literature, art, music and design...and those characteristics make me sexy AF.
12. Take a ride out to the beach on the back of a motorcycle or in a convertible just to feel the wind in my hair and feel free for a small amount of time before I get back to worrying about school projects, taking out the trash or hustling to write this blog while balancing my life.
13. Have someone send me flowers just because they know it would make me smile.
14. Have a spa day where I am pampered from head to toe. This is different from when you get enough time to shave both legs past the knees, or commit to blowdrying your hair. This is the full deal where every part of your body is luxuriated upon, while someone brings you cucumber water and you walk away feeling like you did before you procreated.
15. Do all of the laundry without having to run the dryer twice because those clothes have been in there for 2 days.
16. Leave the house for a night out with matching and even eyeliner for once. (You gals know what I'm saying.)
17. Eat dinner at a grown up restaurant past 6:00 pm. Preferably someplace that has a longer cocktail menu than a kids menu.
18. Walk through my house and NOT step over legos, action figures or random articles of clothing.
19. Convince my child that he does not have to crawl into bed with me at 2 am and proceed to kick, slap or punch me in his sleep.
20. Meet a partner who can accept and/or relate to the list above.