1. How is it possible we spend 75% of parenting most concerned with who is pooping, peeing, where they are pooping or peeing or cleaning said poop and pee...yet, Moms can literally forget to do either for what seems like days?
2. I didn't think it was possible, but I have witnessed my son pee ON an ENTIRE ROLL of toilet paper, without ever removing it from the holder, just to amuse himself.
3. Theres nothing better for ones confidence than stepping out of the shower and having a tiny person say "I hope I never look like that naked."
4. Kids give ZERO F*#%S about privacy until its an adult who is requesting said privacy...even in public bathrooms.
5. Bathroom stalls are for quick pee breaks. Family bathrooms are for your four and a half year old who insists on taking off all of his clothes and his shoes to take a poop.
6. Asking a child to "not make a mess" while they are in the bath tub is like asking a pyromaniac to hold your lighter fluid and zippo.
7. Never squeeze the bath toy thats been unused for a bit, in fact burn it, because if whatever is inside gets out you may need hazmat.
8. I found out that I could still do the splits the other day...not that I wanted to but I slipped in the tub and now I'm not sure anything about my body will ever be the same again.
9. I've been thinking about toilet training my terrier. She seems like she would catch on faster than the kid did, and she probably wouldn't ask me to wipe her ass in the middle of my first cup of coffee.
10. When you finally have some time alone at home and you go to relax in the tub but you need to first remove 45 tiny animals, a Chewbacca, maybe 1 or 2 naked Barbies, wash the from the tub crayons and glittery bath bomb the kiddos used a few days ago...aaaannnndd now this is just cleaning and not relaxing so you give up.