I will admit that recently I have made some major life changes. It was time. I'm 36, single, a mother, and I'm on a journey to find out what I can do for myself to be a happier person. That isn't to say I am or was totally depressed and dissatisfied with my life, but I knew something was missing. I was right. A lot of things were missing. So...I made some changes, and today I can say I am living a happier life. I thought I would share them with you. Maybe you can relate, maybe you want change in your life too, or maybe you'll just think I'm a total hippy dippy new-age weirdo. I'm not making any apologies for any of the following, because being a mother and an actual person, I deserve to be happy and so do you. 1. I changed my surrounding environment. I will acknowledge this isn't for everyone, but I moved. I needed to change my whole environment. My old house was holding some bad ju-ju and I could feel it all burdening me. You don't have to move, but you can change your environment. Lighten up the paint color, change the lighting, reorganize the closets, always keep fresh flowers for the house, buy yourself some new bedding. Little changes in your space can bring you large amounts of joy.
2. I accepted my body for what it was, then decided to love it. I have battled my weight for my whole life. As long as I can remember enjoying food, I've battled food. But food wasn't loving me back, it wasn't filling a void or making me happy. It was weighing me down! Emotionally and physically. I changed the way I fed my body...my awesome, curvatious, strong, beautiful and imperfectly perfect body. I started by leaving out carbs and adding more vegetables. Not because I want to be a Kardashian or anything, but because my body is what I rely on the wake me up in the morning and carry me through the day. I need a healthy body and a clear mind to take care of Boo. Once I nixed the crappy foods out of my daily diet (I use Sunday as a "cheat day") I started sleeping better, noticed my shape was changing, my hair grew faster, my mind was sharper, I didn't need coffee to feel awake, and my skin looked fabulous. Hello!?! Who doesn't want to feel better?
3. I started using exercise as a morning mediatation...and planning my world domination. Everyday (except Monday which is used for errands and appointments) I take the time to walk 2-5 miles, hit the gym and lift some weights, or swim for at least 30-45 minutes. I put on my workout clothes, lace up my shoes, pop on my headphones, crank up my hip-hop playlists and GO! While my body is sweating and working hard, my mind races. This is the time during the day that I collect my thoughts, I plan these blogs, I let my creative juices flow...and by the time I have finished I usually have a cohesive idea that I quickly jot down in iNotes. It's the most creative and emotionally productive time of day. By allowing myself to just be "in the zone" I allow myself to connect with a part of me that's often neglected while "momming." It's made me happier than I can ever really express into word, but I try during these posts.
4. I started letting Dad be Dad. I found myself in an overwhelmed and overly controlled mindset...and I had to stop!! It was driving me crazy. Admitting to myself that I can't be everyone and everything to Boo all of the time and that it was time to set some of that aside and allow Daddy to take over was a HUGE and I mean mountainous, gargantuan, colossal decision for me. It was time. Being a single parent is hard, but not allowing someone to help and be the other parent is like making life ten times harder, solely because I couldn't relinquish the control. It took a lot of communication (which is key) and some major trust building, and probably some very annoying instructional guidance for me to be ok with allowing someone else take over some of the responsibility but in the long run I am much happier and so is my child. With the new-found free time I've been able to reconnect with my own goals...and smash them left and right. Bonus!
5. I started walking with my head up. Don't look down. Just keep your chin level and your eyes on the horizon. Look at the world in front of you. I make eye contact with more people, smile and nod. Shoulders back, spine straight and check out what's going on. It's amazing how just looking up from my phone or from my feet has given me more confidence. No amount of Facebook "Likes" or Instagram ❤️ can replace a strangers smile or catching a precious moment between two people. This universe is a truly complex place and you're in it! Be part of it. Let go of what you think you're missing and be present in the thing you're actually in.