Fact: Sometimes adults act brattier than my toddler. You think we're the assholes? I can't tell you how many times I have been in a situation where I felt unwelcome or uncomfortable out in the general public because I have my child with me. Let me share something with you all. Adults are rude, disruptive, intrusive, and inconsiderate. So much so that I can give you three examples of when I was positive my child wasn't the problem.
- That time at the restaurant: Sitting alone with my son eating a pleasant meal in an actual grown up restaurant. No food shaped like animals, cartoon print paper plates or video games spitting our tickets for prizes you know you will be lost in the car by the time we get home. Boo is behaving and I am actually enjoying dinner for once. It's nice. I'm proud. Then your herd of ladies (I use that term loosely) out for "ladies night out" bump into our table or seats trying to get the best group selfie. Not only is photo session disrupting our meal but your language is atrocious and your topics of conversation are borderline pornographic in nature. Please remember we are in a public place so let's try to keep it together. We have skip dessert, which was well deserved on my child's part, so thanks for that "ladies."
- That time on the airplane: Sitting next to a toddler on an airplane is not everyone first choice. I get it. I have been there. It can be a nightmare. Do you honestly think that I want to be on this tin can in the sky with a toddler who has been up since 4:30 am and has only eaten snack foods for breakfast? Do you actually think this is fun for me? Ummm, no. It's not. It’s even worse when you not only give us major attitude about sitting next to us, but also complain loudly to the flight attendant making a scene in the process. All the while, my child is sitting and minding his own business. And because you could switch seats with anyone on a full flight you proceed to complain on your phone very loudly. For an entire 2 hours and 27 minutes you have had a chip on your shoulder and my child has been an angel. When we land you step over him as if he's not even a human being. Well, sir, this time you are the asshole. When the entire flight of passengers compliments you and your addable little frequent flier on his beyond excellent behavior you should have chimed in, but instead you make your way to the front of the plane and leave me thinking "lets hope this dickhead trips and falls on his way out of this place."
- That time at Disney: This is an entire place made for children so why do adults insist on being complete douchebags at the "happiest place on Earth?" Not only have you taken up every seat on the monorail but you've hit them with swinging backpacks while they stay restrained in stroller, pushed them out-of-the-way to get to see the parade and generally disregarded their existence as they stand line at park dedicated to their memory making. What is that about?? You're the grown up and so I would expect you to have some class and decorum. Please try to act more like a civilized human being and not like a rabid animal in a fanny pack. I am trying to teach a tiny person how to act in public and you're making this difficult to explain. Get a hold of yourself people, because it's this type of behavior that ruins family trips for many of us.
My toddler says and does a lot of inappropriate things at a lot of inconvenient or inappropriate times, but he doesn't roll his eyes when he sees you enter the room, or complain that he doesn't wanted to be seated near you or even worse, completely ignore your presence, so please try to offer him the same amount of respect.