WTF Wednesday: The Diaper Bandit

WTF Wednesdays are when we get real, and by real I mean TRUTH.  Every week I will post a parent fail, rant, complaint, or questions about parenting as an opportunity for some full disclosure venting.  This thing we are doing, raising children, is hard. And for some reason we all want to pretend like its easy.  It's not easy, nor is it always a clean, organized execution like we would lead others to believe.  If you're about this life of child rearing you are well versed in how easily things can go wrong.  Not terribly wrong, but like "crayon in the laundry" wrong.  I want all of you to know from the start that I do not profess to be the most perfect single parent on the planet.  We're alive, we're happy, we're healthy…but there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think to myself "seriously, what the f%#?!?!?!?!" WARNING: This post involves talk of poop.  If you have children you already know this basically makes up about 75% of what we talk about with other parents anyways. Especially if you're child is preschool age.  I just wanted to warn you that if you have a weak stomach, don't read on.  But seriously, I am sure worse has happened to you….this is just my WTF moment for the week! 


Yes, that is our dog Spirit.  And yes, she's in the shower. And yes, there is  a very traumatizing story behind this picture.  So, here we go...

Boo is potty training.  He's got the whole peeing in the potty thing down like a pro, but pooping in the potty…well, not so much.  For some reason he's afraid to poop in the potty.  I resist putting Pull Ups on him and keep encouraging him to try to poop in the potty.  We've tried stickers, M&Ms, bribery with toys, trips to Disney, ice cream, EVERYTHING! Nope. He's just not into it.  And I can't force him.  He's 2 years and 10 months old and i keep telling myself by 3 he will be pooping in the potty, so just chill out and don't give the kid some sort of complex that has to be fixed by many years of intensive therapy.  On this special day Beckett wore underwear to preschool for the first time and made it all morning with no accident.  When he came home he asked for a Pull Up, but because I didn't put it on him he decided to put it on all by himself.  So he did.  And he pooped in it. Next, he decided that he could take off all by himself as well.  I let him.  Boom! Parent fail #1.  He smeared that mess all over himself and the rest of whatever was anywhere near him.  I threw the dirty diaper in our Ubi (parent fail #2 and didn't even realize it) and escorted little man into the shower to rinse off.  We had a nice long conversation about how much easier and less messy it would be to just use the toilet.  Get kiddo out of the shower and all dried off, dressed, smiling, cleaned up bathroom.  Ok, cool.  Time to relax and play some lego duplos.

Nope.  Not at all.  Not when I noticed that our loving, affectionate, curious and slighty mischievous little terrier rescue is carrying the dirty diaper down the hallway and showing you how she has rolled herself in it. This wasn't some random weird thing dogs usually roll in out in the backyard that would warrant a hosing off.  This was shit.  Human shit  and it was all over her.  And then it was all over me as I grabbed her to get said shit off of her.   Apparently I didn't close the diaper pail and while we were in the shower she decided to steel the diaper and violate whatever was left of my last nerve that day.

Heres what was going on in my brain at the time:

"Umm, what does the dog have? Oh my god, thats a diaper.  Holy crap! AHHH!!! Ok, clam down.  Just breathe.  Gross. Grab the diaper and throw it away.  Close the damn diaper pail, idiot.  Grab the dog.  Get her in the shower.  Oh, this is so disgusting.  Why?!?! No, seriously…What in the actual f*%#?!!!"

So there you have it.  A real parenting story.  A parent fail of epic proportions.  Some days we feel like we're up to our necks in it, and here's proof that somedays that is literal. At the end of the day, we love our dog.  I love her like she's my other baby, so cleaning her up after something like this is not that big of a deal.  I do it for Boo, why not her too.  Bright side to all of this: both babies bathed by sunset.

Please feel free to share a parent fail, frustrations, or questions with us by commenting below.

For information about where we got Spirit please check out Poodle and Pooch Rescue.